so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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