i think my mom watched the whole time
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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