Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
