I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize