Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize