Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
