The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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