Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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