i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
