You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
how drunk are you?
Several
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
