i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
