We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
