Kiss
Puke
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
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i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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