bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
