I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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