I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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