brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
