I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
