And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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