Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
