i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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