i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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