The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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