I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
