you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
