maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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