ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
