I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
this will be a night to untag.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
