my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
