i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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