Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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