Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
