help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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