I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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