If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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