today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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