I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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