We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
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