Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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