I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize