found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Randomize
