did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Terrible idea I love it
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize