You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize