Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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