i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
