i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
