i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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