no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
