i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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