Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
