he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
