bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
