someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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