I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize