i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
