Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
