hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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