just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
