his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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