Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
