Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
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If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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