yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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