My hand turned me down
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
