ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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